Monday, May 25, 2009

Movies about robots

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: a/s/l?
Stranger: 20 m netherlands
You: Oh cool. I am 23 and in the States.
You: How is the weather in the netherlands?
Stranger: it sucks!
Stranger: there's a thndersorm right now hehe
Stranger: thunderstorm*
You: ugh, I'm sorry. It's hot here, and sunny. We were on the beach all day.
Stranger: california?
You: Yes, Malibu.
Stranger: ah man you got it good
You: It's ok. I wish I lived in the Netherlands sometimes though.
Stranger: I'm not complaining thoug hthe weather has been great for a long time
Stranger: oh why the netherlands?
You: Well, Santa Claus lives there.
Stranger: uhm...
You: And every morning he drives his reindeer out onto the tundra
Stranger: you're not supposed to know about that
You: and gives tiny creamcakes to all the netherlandian boys and girls.
You: In malibu we are forced into tanning booths all day at taserpoint.
Stranger: it's dutch btw
You: and if we disobey we are forced to do pilates until we vomit frozen yogurt.
Stranger: everyone or just the girsl?
Stranger: girls*
You: well, the boys that disobey are surgically altered and become something not totally unlike girls.
Stranger: i bet that's confusing
You: I hope they can't hear me telling you about the secrets of malibu.
You: the malibu overlords monitor all our communications.
Stranger: does the governator have anything to do with all this?
You: If they find out I told an outlander about our beautification camps they'll make me clean up pomeranian poop with my mouth for a week
You: and subject me to botox enemas
You: yes! swarzenegger is responsible!
You: I am afraid for my soul.
You: I just want to go somewhere cold
You: just once
You: and watch dour movies about rape.
You: that have sad endings
You: which win awards.
You: and have no robots in them.
You: please help me
Stranger: I will see to it that you and your people get freed from the schwarzenegger
You: thank you
You: you are our only hope
You: They come for me!!!!
Stranger: the dutch have always have been
Stranger: close the window!
You: god no...

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