Sunday, May 17, 2009


Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: This thing sucks.

You: i can't find my pants

Stranger: i still have them

You: i woke up all oiled up and i smell funny

Stranger: i know, i was there.

You: you could have left me something to eat. it's dark in here.

Stranger: yeah, my bad. I had to tend to the other cages.

Stranger: you're new, you'll be ok for a while.

You: can i get some pudding at least?

Stranger: ...

Stranger: no.

You: it's okay. i'm too fat anyway.

Stranger: no kidding. i had to use the oil to get you through the door.

You: you say all the right things

Stranger: are you hitting on me?

You: is that a problem? i'm a very lonely grandma.

Stranger: no, you're exactly like i want you. that's why i hijacked that adult daycare van full of you guys.

You: i miss my cats.

Stranger: i'm allergic to cats, so I had them slain. I hope you don't mind.

You: that's terrible. they filled a void in my sweet heart of hearts. i'd like you to bring them back. NOW.

Stranger: Yeah, well, I think about that as soon as I start taking orders from fat oily grandmas in cages.

You: I'll make you some cookies.

Stranger: I'll make you into cookies.

Stranger: I'm a nasty freak.

You: you say all the right things

You: you smell nice

You: like pickles

Stranger: DOH!!!

Stranger: It's about that time.

Stranger: I have to go beat up some homeless people

You: will you send a message to my grandson?

Stranger: go for it.

You: tell him to send me some vapo rub. you can rub it on my chest. i feel a bit of a cold in here.

Stranger: Tell him to vaporize you and burn the rest, because it's cold, I hear? Got it.

You: you say all the right things, smell nice, and make me poop in my diaper with sweet abaondon

Stranger: AH! Homeless guy!!!

Stranger: gotta run!!

You: go sodomize him, HAVE FUN

(You was played by Nick.)

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