Monday, May 25, 2009

Peanut Butter Solution

Omegle conversation log 2009-05-25

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hey

Stranger: how are you?

You: 21

Stranger: nineteen

You: oh, cool

You: where are you?

Stranger: canada, you?

You: Omaha

You: You know, like wild kingdom?

You: Except we have no lions here.

You: What we do have is ants.

You: If you stay still too long they will get in your cooter.

Stranger: termites too!

Stranger: cooter?

You: That's omaha slang for 'vagina'.

Stranger: wtf is a cooter?

You: We have a lot of good slang words in Omaha.

You: Do you have slang in Canada?

You: that's when you makeumup some words.

Stranger: yes, we do

Stranger: i love it

You: We don't school up too good here so we makeumup.

You: Hey I saw a movie from canadia

You: have you seen it?

You: it's about a boy whose hair falls out.

You: and ghosts put peanut butter on his head

You: and his hair grows really fast.

Stranger: yes!

Stranger: i hace

Stranger: it got oscar snubbed

You: Yeah. we watch that a lot in Omaha.

You: People tell you a lot of stuff about life in Omaha that isn't true.

You: like that we have lions and marmosets.

Stranger: but no

You: but really we watch that peanut butter movie a lot.

Stranger: you only have cooter ants

You: yeah.

You: That's a problem.

Stranger: spray raid on your vaj

Stranger: should keep down the itch

You: I thought that peanut butter might help

You: but it made it worse.

Stranger: i'm allergic to peanut butter

You: now I have to go to the doctor twice a month.

Stranger: please stop talking about it or i will disconnect

Stranger: it is a mortal allergy

You: oh no

You: I just ate a pbnj

Stranger: NO!

You: I don't want to get it on you over the internets

Stranger: now we can't tongue kiss

You: like that girl who got kissed and died.

You: I'm sorry

You: I feel like I kind of love you.

You: I don't want you to die

Stranger: it's okay

You: I have to sacrifice our love to save your life.

Stranger: we can kiss through saran wrap

You: goodbye.

You have disconnected.

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